My life, my face

LA woman by way of The Big D. I love the 90's. I wear wigs more often than most people. Peggy Bundy is my fashion icon. I look fly at all times cause I live by the creed "fake it til you make it." I live to be funny and I'm livin the dream. Here you'll find veggies, dogs, fashion, fierceness, funny, my life, and my face. This content is aimed at my closest friends and people I have never met -Jackie Johnson

Posts tagged life

Mar 7

Be Inspired by the Battles. Game of Thrones is kinda like life in LA and I’m gonna tell you about it.

Guys,

Today was one of DEM DAYS. Where you just wanna go home and put a cool cloth over your head and lie in bed and say “I’m DONE!.” Every day in Los Angeles as a struggling dreamer is a battle. This is GAME OF THRONES. You gotta be ready for war or you gonna get squished.

Because everything happens at the very last second in this biz, I got an audition late last night for a TV SHOW. A cool role, too. And during pilot season they run a tight ship. There is one hour for you to show up and say your lines then they move on. 

Of course the one hour of the entire week the Universe chooses for me to have this bitchin audish is when I have my other job, the one that pays my bills so that Momma can stay in LA to get on TV eventually. 

The audition is at Noon and I’m set to work til 1. It’s in WEST LOS ANGELES and I live in Silver Lake which is like SO far. If we’re talking Game of Thrones, I’m in King’s Landing and the audition is like the wall with all that snow or whatever. FAR FROM ME.

So I start cursing the planet. UGH WHY IS IT SO FAR. UGH GAS IS SO EXPENSIVE. Now I gotta wake up extra early to push my work up so I can be done in time to get in the the car, crawl in traffic across the metroplex, and get there on time.

So I do all that. Then I get there and OF COURSE there’s nowhere to park. A BATTLE. I park 3 streets over at a meter. (Tangent: Lesson I’ve learned the hard way and you should take it from me and avoid the lessen yourself: Just fill the meter. Don’t anticipate only being there half an hour. Just pay the 4 dollars and pay for the full 2 hours or whatever. You never know what you’re gonna face when you get in that room and it very well may take 2 hours. And 4 dollars in a meter is way less than 75 for a ticket.)

Okay, so I have a few minutes to get there on time, and I’m briskly walking through this weird auto yard section of West LA, and all these auto mechanic guys are yelling things at me and trying to talk to me cause I’m wearing short shorts as a character choice, and I’m sure there are very respectful wonderful auto mechanics but these guys gave them a bad name, so they’re comments are making me even more agitated. These shorts are a character choice! 

So at this point I’m a pleasant cocktail of: tired from waking up early, stressed from my journey, agitated from the long trek to the casting place cause there’s no parking and from being ogled by scum bags. 

Then I walk into this place and let it ALL GO. I really worked on it. I breathed. I stood alone in the corner of the waiting room (by the way, super backed up and I was in there over an hour- GLAD I FILLED THAT METER, SON) and I said the following to myself (and now to whoever reads this)

I am here to audition for a TV show. This place casts lots of them. They don’t know me and this is my one shot to show them I’m taking my career seriously. Shake off all that bull. I want to be here and I want to do this. I was the class clown and star of my high school. I’m Robb Stark. That feeling I got making people laugh is my favorite thing about life. I moved away from my family to this big, gross town because I want to be on TV. I’m now in this room with 15 other class clown stars of their towns. We all want this and we all sat in traffic and battled Los Angeles and got here to do this.

THIS IS WHAT IT’S LIKE! If you want the best job in the world you are gonna have to FIGHT for it. Girl, you better WORK. You gotta have 3 jobs and juggle them constantly. You gotta learn those lines when you’re exhausted. You gotta gas up that car and grit your teeth and fight through that traffic. You’re probably gonna almost pee your pants a few times a week.  Then you’re gonna get there and it’s gonna be backed up so it didn’t even matter if you got there on time but YOU DID! BATTLE!

You gotta FIGHT FOR THIS DREAM. Cause it’s the biggest one. The best job in the world is gonna require A TON of hard work and exhaustion and battles and aggravation and parking meters and lascivious auto mechanics. And when your dream comes true it will be the ultimate victory. And you will remember all of this struggle and not be a dick to people. That’s what separates this business from the people who truly worked for it and the people who were handed their spot. BE ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS. Don’t be King Joffrey.

So I’m gonna try really hard to not get pissed when I get an audition far away and at an inconvenient time. That’s why I left my family in Texas: To get auditions. If I don’t wanna drive in LA traffic or memorize lines or get ogled by mechanics I coulda stayed in Garland and gotten a nice, sensible desk job at a used car lot right by my house. But I want THIS! GAME of THRONES! GAME of THRONES! GAME of THRONES! 

I’m sure actors get their audition emails and say the traffic will be terrible then and opt to not go. And I’m sure some actors do reach a point where they’ve had enough of this lifestyle and move back home/give up. LET EM! MORE ROOM FOR US! Fight and work hard and put on your metaphorical armor and BATTLE FOR YOUR DREAMS! Pretend you’re the Khaleesi! You got Dragons on your side!

So I’m gonna appreciate the opportunities I get and know that all of the frustration and hard work will make me stronger and the eventual reward that much sweeter. No more whining about parking and late audition notices and all the muck! Remember why you’re here and battle and SUCCEED! 

Just wanted to pass this on to any fellow dreamers in short shorts holding in their pee and anger while sitting in traffic. 

-Jackie Stark 


Dec 28

Things I’ve learned that you might wanna know about- My “I’m Older than You and here’s some major poignant advice you could learn from me” Post of 2012 

Hey You,

I’m 28 now and that’s a legit age for an adult person. I have never been a “better” person than I am now cause all these years have gone by and taught me a lot about the world and life. I’ve finally started to chill out, drop my fronts, stop hating on haters, and get comfortable being the idiot mess I’m meant to be. I feel really good about how things are going and wanna write them all out in an upbeat post. Humor me and Read em!

1. Don’t hate. You can not like people and that’s totally fine- but don’t hate. You’re only gonna bring negativity to yourself and the person you hate prolly doesn’t even care. Stop stewing over some bull. Again, I’m sorry to those I’ve talked shit about in the past. I feel like a dick about it even if you never found out. I’m done with negativity! Remember we are all people on this planet trying to make our way, and some people are misguided and silly but we can still make it on our way without hate in our hearts. PS- someone hit my car and jacked it up a few months ago AND someone stole a present off my porch on Christmas Eve. I still hate them but I’m trying not to…. 

2. Do what you gotta do to better your sitch. If there are people you are FB friends with and their updates/pics/ignorant political rants make you anxious/nervous/mad just hide em from your feed. There is no shame in that. If you follow a friend on Instagram and all she posts are weird close-ups of her face and gross food and you hate seeing it, just un-follow her. Girl, it’s okay. It doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad friend. Sometimes we just gotta clear out issues.

3. Be confident and stand by your material. As a comedian, I get so insecure about my material sometimes. I tweet something and it gets no favorites and I immediately think I should move back to Texas and open up a Dog Grooming shop. But I thought it was really funny. CAUSE IT IS. So if no one else got it then that’s okay. Same with my acting and auditioning. The right people will notice your talent when the time is right. (RIGHT?) Just be one hundy percent YOU at all timez and LOVE you.

4. Stop doing things you hate. I had a pretty good career going as a Hollywood Dog Walker to the Star’s dogs/star dogs but it was sucking out my soul and I finally got up the courage to quit this year. This also goes out to all my pals who constantly whine about commercial auditions. They suck. They’re a waste of time. They’re embarrassing. If you feel that way about them then just stop going. Why do you go if you hate them so much? You want to go on the off chance that you book and make 20 grand in one day? Great! Then love the process! Or just stop auditioning for them and let people who actually want to audition and book things get the job. It’s okay that you hate them- just stop going, go out for TV shows and movies instead or whatever you wanna do and make everyone’s life easier. Too many Negative Nancies out there stinkin up the waiting rooms.

5. For serious: I’ve taken Defensive Driving twice since moving to LA and I have gotten like 5 tickets and you don’t want one. They’re super expensive, make your insurance go up, and going to that Court House downtown is like visiting Hell. So I just want to remind y’all of a few things. Driving is a privilege. We often forget that, but it is. You are driving a weapon. Every 13 minutes someone in the US dies from an auto-related accident. It ain’t no joke to be behind the wheel. I have recently taken my driving a lot more seriously and I want everyone else to, as well. For instance- DO NOT FUCKING TEXT AND DRIVE. CALM DOWN. You can wait til you are there or at least til you’re at a stop light to see what emoji Kelly sent you. Come to a complete stop at stop signs. Slow the fuck down. Stop being in such a hurry. Don’t use your horn so much. People are gonna be dicks and pull out in front of you or ride your bumper or whatever, but don’t be like them. Just be safe and smart and calm and remember driving is a privilege. And if not for the safety of you and others, do it to avoid a 450 dollar ticket. If you live in California this state is broke and they’ve really upped the police force in giving out tickets. They’re everywhere and you’re gonna get caught eventually if you keep driving like an asshole.

6. Start wearing shoes with proper arch support if you haven’t already. I was in an elevator with a dude a few months ago and he commented on my flats. “Doesn’t your back hurt from wearing those flimsy shoes all day?” I was like, “Yeah I think it does.” I got insoles and my life changed. I put em in every pair and I owe it all to that Sassy man. If you’re in your mid-late twenties get some insoles and I promise you’ll be all like “Why didn’t I do this before?” Highly recommend Dr. Scholl’s For Her- I put them in flats and they still work amazing. And while I’m at it, White Strips and the Diva Cup also changed my life. CHECK EM OUT! 

7. Just because you see your friends on Instagram having a party that you weren’t invited to doesn’t mean they hate you (I hope).

8. If you’re not doing things that terrify you every week you aren’t livin yo life that much.

9. Stop spoiling shows and movies on Social Media. Make the world a better place!

10. Surround yourself with positive, beautiful, successful, wonderful women who you wish you were like. 

11. If you’re still a little baby in High School and you don’t know what you wanna do with life, don’t be afraid to follow your calling even if your parents just don’t understand. Also, don’t have sex until you’re ready. 

12. Be nice, be gracious, be humble. But also don’t let nobody play you for a fool. 

13. Do improv and meet a cute boyfriend. Or just do it cause it’s fun, rewarding, and major helpful if you’re an artist/actor/creator/human. If you’re interested in the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and the comedy scene there, here is what I have to say about it. And here’s my thoughts on sketch, too. 

14. Put your phone down and take in the world around you. There’s way cool stuff you might notice! 

15. Love your body.

16. Change, Improve, adapt, grow. But never forget where ya came from. 

Love ALWAYZ

Jackie