My life, my face

LA woman by way of The Big D. I love the 90's. I wear wigs more often than most people. Peggy Bundy is my fashion icon. I look fly at all times cause I live by the creed "fake it til you make it." I live to be funny and I'm livin the dream. Here you'll find veggies, dogs, fashion, fierceness, funny, my life, and my face. This content is aimed at my closest friends and people I have never met -Jackie Johnson

Nov 20

Birthday today

Well, it’s official: I’m NOT getting any younger. I’ve been in LA 5.5 years and its crazy how fast the time has gone. Now I am a bonafide ADULT for real. I’m out of my early 20’s. YEESH! I’m closer to 30 than I ever dreamed of being- and my life isn’t exactly where I thought it would be, but its really fun and funny and I’m very happy.

That being said, I’m DONE dicking around. I spent the first couple years out here wearing Forever 21 outfits and pretending to be fly to get into Da Clubs, collecting stories about encounters with D list “celebs” by night and sitting at various Coffee Bean locations ordering soy Lattes on a background artist’s salary pretending to be fly by day. Then I finally got a job and involuntarily started crawling up the Hollywood Dog Walker status ladder, all while crawling even slower up the comedy/acting ladder- which is the true goal of me being here. And somewhere along the way I kinda got lost. 

But for real though: I gotta get shit crack a lackin. I am now at an age where I am no longer comfortable making excuses. “I’m yoooooouuuunnnnng. I don’t have a dishwasher and my car’s roof has a hole in it. I can nap all day and blow off my Pert Plus audition cause I’m YOOOOOUUUUNNNNNG and time is on my side.” Ew, not anymore. I don’t want to be “where I am” for much longer- now I’m in crunch mode. I’ve always been one of those unfortunate people who work better on a deadline and I’ve offish reached one- I gotta get my career as wonderful as my personal life sooner than later.

So here are my 10 personal goals for wellness next year. If you see me doing anything in contrast to these HIT ME IN THE FACE.

1. Stop spending my precious energy/thoughts/time dwelling/worrying/having panic attacks about things/shit/people I can’t control; i.e. the past/the unknown future/haters that gonna hate/people that don’t matter/Facebook and all the people that annoy me that won’t get off my SIDEBAR. 

2. Spend less time online and more time on LIFE (said the hypocrite sitting on TUMBLR and not going to Luke’s birthday right now. Ugh it’s my birthday I can recluse if I want to) <== EXCUSE! (Not making any progress yet)

3. Write more and stare at TV less.

4. Suck up to my friends that have gotten successful.

5. Phase out the crazy friends that I really want to avoid but am too non confrontational to deal with.

6. 4 and 5 are jokes- but really I just want to surround myself with positive influences and people with their lives together so that maybe their persistence and attitude will rub off on me. I do this already pretty much but want to emphasize it. 

7. Make some money- sorry Jessie J but sometimes we gotta think about the PRICE TAG. My car is 11 years old and my billz be pilin up so GURL I GOTTA BOOK WORK.

8. Don’t forget to floss and use my eye cream at night cause this face gotta LAST ME.

9. Don’t compare myself to everyone’ i.e. stop googling super Model’s measurements then pick myself apart for having discrepancies; stop stressing if she’s prettier/younger/funnier/has longer, better hair than me. I eat healthy and use sulfate-free shampoo now and I have great things to offer and I need to be more concerned with myself and not with myself compared to others. Ugh I’m SUCH a girl.

10. Be less bitchy. Cause I’m nice. 

 A lot of these 10 cross over into each other but I’m trying here.

Happy Birthday to me and here’s to me taking this getting older opportunity to grow up.


  1. jackiesface posted this